There's not much really to say about much of anything to be completely honest. I've just felt really down in the dumps and moving in fast on that depression kick. I just feel like the world just HAS to take a huge dump on me at every convenient moment.
I wish I could be like some people and just end up somehow happy without a care in the world. I open up and I get hurt. That seems to be the way of the world. Yvonne always used to say that I was impenetrable; I'd never let anyone in. But, yano...at least people never used that against me, and I was happy. I open up to people, let people in, and they end up hurting me and I feel miserable and alone instead of strong and immortal. There's one shining point in my life right now. Just one. That's kind of sad when you break it right down.
I'm using this blog again to try and get some of these feelings out. i've got a long long, hard road ahead of me and it's going to come down to me needing to get some of this stuff out without taking it out on other people...to keep myself as happy as possible during that time. So, I guess this is round one or two of the process. I'm sure there'll be more shortly
Mahalo
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