WoOt!

I have the weekend off! All sorts of stuff happened yesterday. I started a civil war at work, I got my raise, and We're almost done at harbourview. Woot. So I picked up two new Exalted books today. I've kinda been meaning to for a while, but I just haven't had the funds available to do so. Now, granted, the books are thirty bucks a piece, but for them it's highly worth it. Each of them are roughly 3/4 the size of the original book, they're each hardcover and deal with only the aspect of the Exalted that they're titled to. I picked up the books on the Lunar Exalted and the Dragon-blooded. And I must say that they're very good reads. Exalted is White Wolf's stab at a fantasy setting RPG, and it works marvelously. Now if I can just find the Sidereal book i'll be good to go.

I also picked up Hunter S. Thompson's "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" I picked up the actual book and not the movie (which I have as well). I read the book long before the movie came out and i found it most enjoyable. To be honest it was hilarious. I went to pick up Stephen Hawking's Illustrated history of Time and The Universe in a Nutshell, but I felt my ponderings into Quantum could wait until my next paycheck.

Thank God it's....some semblance of Friday...

TO most people it's Friday. Hopefully it's Friday for me as well. Everybody can say, well yeah, look at the calendar ya damn hippy. But by "Friday" I mean teh end of my work week. I didn't have much of a weekend last week and personally I'm worn out. I pretty well finished my RPG so I'm kinda at a loss for what to do. I've gotta get a few more people in the Group so I can run a real good party group playtest. I'm kinda at a loss for what to do now. The webcomic I've gotten down, though I still need to draw another board for it. I'm kinda waiting on the scanner to finish that, which hopefully will happen today. My RPG is written, which I've thrown myself into thoroughly for about the last month. It's kinda like finishing your life work and saying well what now? I've still gotta come up with a website design for the comic though, and I have some pretty good ideas for it. I learned CSS last week. suprisingly it took me the better part of an evening to figure out. I still have to cheat and look at a list i made of teh different attribute codes, but i'll memorize them all as I use it more. Rome wasn't built in a day and all that cliche crap. Anywho, off to work.

Cuz it's the Job that never ends. It just goes on and on my friends...

There are jobs. There are good jobs. There are bad jobs. Then, there are jobs that would be good if they would just ever end. Harbourview, one of our larger pains in the ass, er, I mean lucrative accounts, has now officially taken forever. We should have been done with this monster of concrete and steel over a month ago. It didn't happen that way. Everytime we're just about done and ready to call for inspection something else comes up that involves diving head first into another batch of problems. Stacy has been at work lately. though I don't think he should be, he's been lurking in the shadows making material lists for me and such. I can understand the mentality though. I know if I were given the prognosis that he was I'd be looking for any excuse not to think about it. He thinks people don't notice him kneeling in the corner holding his stomach or the pained look he gets from climbing a ladder, but we do.

Speaking of things that never seem like they're going to be done, I've reached a point in my RPG where I feel that it's "done" for a bit. I know from experience that playtest erases all of those feelings. Then again, that's what playtest is for. So, for those who have been waiting with baited breath...noth of you, it's ready to throw a storyline at. I know I'm sarcastic, and sometimes almost caustic when it comes to my accomplishments, but I have a bad case of "you're your own worst critic" syndrome bad. I love what i do. i love the things that I write. But just like everybody else I'm too critical about how it comes out. I know I draw well, but I look at everybody else's and realise that I'm not even at the same level that these other people are. It's a hard mirror to look into at times. I realise that these people have gone to school and taken classes, yada yada yada. I'm self-taught in everything that I do. i'm constantly trying to improve myself and my situation. But I don't feel like I've made it anywhere. It's probably something akin to the famous middle child feeling though I'm the oldest.

i've been feeling my age lately. not a whole lot considering I'm only 26, but there are extenuating circumstances to all of it. I have an enlarged heart. And I've been feeling that a lot lately. There are times at work that it feels like it's coming out of my chest from simply doing what I always do. It bothers me at times. My chest hurts and I can't explain why because I've been sitting for ten minutes. My doctor looked at me and told me when I was 14 that it was a ticking timebomb. A LOT of people will find this a suprise because I don't tell people about it. I don't want sympathy, and I don't want to be handled with kid gloves. I want to live my life how I want to; do the things that I want to. When the time comes, it just does. I guess seeing stacy the way he is kinda makes me think about it a little more.

I almost feel sorrow for the truly creative. I know what it's like to have three thousand thoughts going through your mind at once. Each one travels a strange course that ultimately arrives at a truly inspiring destination. I constantly have the urge to create and to destroy. I want to make something beautiful, tear it down to make something magnificent. I'm not happy simply creating and leaving good enough alone. I am constantly looking for the thread of inspiration that leads all great people to their one masterpiece. I don't know if I've found it yet, but I'm still looking. Great things come to those who wait and all that smack.

The Fools....

I arrived home to a pleasant surprise. I am now the proud owner of an EPA certification. It was a hard fought battle but I finally came out on top. This is my fourth time taking the EPA test, failing it by one question each previous time. This time I figured that I had passed it since he didn't even mail it off until almost a week after I took it. That was a story in and of itself. So now I am certified by the EPA to not only work on residential air conditioning units, but larger Low Pressure commercial Chiller units as well. WoOt. If the fools at the EPA knew what kind of power they had just unleashed upon the unsuspecting public, then I imagine they would have posted my picture at all of the local supply houses. That is all.

My Geekdom reaches Critical Mass...

I've spent the better part of today working on my RPG. I did a bunch more pictures and added the different races. While most people would say "Oh, that's not too bad.", lemme explain. When I originally created this world I was twelve years old, running an AD&D game. As children of that age tend to overdo things I fell into it entirely. I created what was then called "The Illythia Elven Language" It was a rather unimaginative. But as I've grown, and experienced more of the world; more literature, more games, etc, the language has grown and changed. While I kept the original names for the races I'd created, I expended and pared down the language I'd created 14 years ago. It's soon to be added to my new RPG. I include it mainly for the players' benefites. it adds a bit of flavor to their elven characters. While writing this stuff this afternoon I suddenly felt like one of those trekkies who created the Klingon language...but it was for my own creation not out of fandom. The races, while still following the traditional Human, Elf, Dwarf, evil reflection of said races paradigm, are substantially different. Even then I wasn't satisfied with these cookie cutter races. There had to be more to them besides just "Elves don't like Dwarves. They had a war and it sucked" I created reasons why, other than some mythical war. I created a subrace, andwhat these races call themselves, not just the human name for them. They have their own culture and language besides human. I mean really. THIS is why I feel my geekdom is slowly taking over...like some Bruce Banner syndrome. Don't make me write...you won't like me when I write....

*yawn* it's too damn early

I know I didn't post yesterday...and I'm sorry to all 3 of my readers.i just didn't really feel like coming out here on the computer. I've been drawing a lot more, working on the game, which is actually about finished with a playtest type version. If it's one thing that I've discovered about writing RPG's is that they're kinda like a webpage. You're never really "done" with either of them, you're just done for now. So I'm gonna start playtesting it probably within the next week. Chad has XP and Office (hopefully) back on his coputer, so either by PDF or .doc he can read the thing. I'm kinda excited about the prospect of actually going through with this webcomic thing. If I had a scanner I'd start doing some boards now, but I have to wait until I get paid to get one. AND I need to pick up a USB hub since my two USB posrts are full. I have too much stuff to put into there between the webcam, my joystick, gamepad, cable modem, and soon to be scanner.

All Philospohical...

I'm driving my car back from Gulf Breeze and I start to think on things. I usually do this, but my philosophical side seemed to want to say something this afternoon. Life is much like a symphony. You can spend years or perhaps your lifetime itself creating a beautiful harmony for yourself. You can spend years writing it, and suddenly things become discordant. Your clef is off or some menial mistake, but you go back, search and find your errors, improving it, making it beautiful for the world. But just one harmony isn't enough to make a symphony sing, you need more. So you find the counter-melody for your harmony. The sound and emotion swell to an enormous crescendo. But yet again we must find more...more for our Magnum Opus. So we bring a third harmony in, possibly more and everything is beautiful and incredibly serene. There may yet possibly be more errors, more discord to come into your grand symphony, but we all press on. We strive for that one perfect piece in our lives, and try to turn our whole lives into a masterpiece not even the gods are worthy of.

More Stories from Hell

This just keeps getting better and better. As if I haven't bored you guys enough yet, this one tops all of it. The little psycho nut niece has sent me a darling little email in my box. I think that everybody officially has this email now, but for those who don't here it is. It's good stuff. Somebody oughta wash her mouth out with soap and fill her in on how the world really works.

LOL oh my gosh! You are pathetic Mikers. I am gonan make your life MORE hell than it already is...My fucking god. WHy are you to afraid to face up to Becky...since you already fucknig lied to her, made her feel like shit and here's you saying 'I have been banging my head all day about it' Your shit you know that...i don't care who the hell cares that your soooo nice and sweet....your shit! Well...thats what Becky thought too...until you broke her fucking heart and you didn;t even fucknig care! Figures though...you dont care about anything in life, and i hope your darling baby, when it's born, knows what it's like to have a screwed up father who cheated on his wife, what 2 times? And I am gonna keep doing this shit to you in your blogs, guestbooks, anywhere where your name is filled at...lol. Now you know what it's like to break someone's heart who I also love very much...I don't like people breaking other people's hearts...and for that you will pay for that. Lifke is gonna be soooooooo fun Mikers...WHy don't you do your happy dance while your at it? Or ummm, how about blocking my address huh? Then again...who cares...Becky found someone new, someone who isn't stupid enough to break her heart because my uncle can actually have fun with her...not like you did!!! I hope Vyonne divorses you, cause i would. Why don't you just tell Becky and me the truth? Like you always did...or wait...were those lies too? Ya know what...do me a favor and rip up those boxers we gave you...stick those M&M's up you ass...and die. Because if you die....im not really gonna care...just kill yourself right now...so i can be happy...since you made me likfe hell as it is too! Damn...or just fuck off!

SPike_y

p.s. WHen your gonna say something to Becky about me...tell it to MY face...unless your afraid of a 13 year old...lol...then again you always are!


Boy, was that a doozy or what. Good stuff. Really. Really knows how to lay on the guilt trip. Those of you who know me know how I am and how I feel about this kind of thing. They also know it's not even a possibility in my vocabulary. But I figured hey why not share the wealth. Unfortunately I don't believe that I'm going to be getting any more of these since I've decided to stop being a gentleman about this and just flat out ignore them again. I'm sure that they're gonna hunt me down here. But you know what...I don't really care. They can't leave comments and since I'm gonna let my email account expire I won't be getting anymore mail there either. Oh well, it was hell while it lasted, but it's given me a free laugh these last few days. And the threatening to do something to my guestbooks...that would probably come in handy if I hadn't set them all up so that I'm the only one that can allow entries...shame really. So say goodbye to my little psycho rantings from the peanut gallery, cuz they're going away. I've had enough of dealing with this pair of beligerent people. With their petty accusations and their guilt trips. enough of their babbling and their threats. My conscience is clean at the moment. So if you're reading this, and I have a feeling that you are...goodbye for good this time.

The First "Best of"...

I'll no doubt put up another Blog tonight, but I thought I'd kick off my Best Of, and I do use that word lightly. If you can consider any of these to be a "Best Of" then I guess you need help as much as I do :) anywho here's the first one. It's a nice little bit where I got Yvonne's Hospital bill when we had to go in because the pain in her side was getting to be too much for her.

"Seig Heil to the hospital system. After what would have been a pretty damn decent day I coe home to a hospital bill from when my wife had to go to the ER. After nearly fainting to the tune of $1600 I decided to come online and vent my frustrations. I understand that costs are what they are, and I know everybody's heard the griping about the $12 aspirin, but come on....sixteen HUNDRED dollars. I know after my recent visits due to nifty private reasons that god I'm glad I have insurance because I'd be truly in debt. Anyway, just thought i'd give the good ole salute to the hospital system what's bleeding my wallet dry

posted by Mike V. @ 9:16:25 PM, Monday, July 29, 2002 "

It's not one of my classics but it's still pretty good. I'll be putting them up sporadically so keep coming back...PLEASE

These two are funny...

Yet more replies from the other peanut gallery. This is some great stuff. No, I mean really. I think i laughed until I cried over this one. Lemme bring everybody up to par. He niece left this horrible comment in my other blog. So I wrote the adult of the pair and asked her to kindly stop leaving this stuff in my blogs. SHe can sendme whatever hate mail she wants for deciding that my real life took precedence over my online life. Thought I was being a rational human being. Guess I wasn't. Here's what today's entry consisted of in her Blog. This is good stuff. I think it should get an oscar, cuz it had me crying in my chair.

giggles
apparently whatever it is that you did to mikers, he thinks i did it... smiles, he also thinks that we have 'alternate' blogs like he does and that we feel the need to hide things from him... hmmmmm
he sent me an email this morning saying that he did delete his blog, and that he wishes to be left alone because he 'knew' it would turn out this way... i wonder, does he mean that he knew he was gonna get her pregnant and then lie to us about when it happened, and then run and hide from us and pretend we didn't exist anymore? ya think he knew all of that ahead of time?? wish he would have told me, i would have started crying a long time ago and then hopefully would have been done with it by now...

as for being called a skank... giggle squeak... tell your dad if he would let you pick out some decent clothes... hee hee... and as for being a 'beautiful intelligent totally cute hottie' (or whatever else that crap stands for) just smile and say thankies to them... hee hee


as for me, i am fine... frightened insecure neurotic and emotional.... can we say thankies mikers... and we love you anyways...

:: darkest 2:02 PM [+] ::

I couldn't write better comedy. It's good stuff. Today went pretty well actually. had a good work day for a change. Came home, drank a few beers and came out here to Blog for a few minutes. This life of mine just keeps getting weirder and weirder

And then there was nothing...

Well after an eventful weekend, today was absolutely boring. There wasn't really too much going on. Run of the mill work day. Work is going good on my RPG. I've gotten it converted over to PDF so Chad doesn't have to bother himself with installing Office. ;) I've started drawing some filler art for those oh so bothersome nearly empty pages. Things are going pretty well. I'm gonna install Macromedia Freehand again later and see if I can get used to drawing on the computer. I really need to since my quest for a scanner has gone by the wayside in lieu of more important things. So hopefully I'll have all of the nifty stuff that I want to have done within maybe, oh, about 2 weeks or so. But then again deadlines are made to be broken...just ask LucasArts.

The roadtrip to Tallahassee went pretty well uneventful. After some excruciating radio stations things went pretty smoothly. We picked up the package and got out of Tallahassee without much event. We had a lot of fun both to and from so I can count it as a success. And thankfully Chad didn't get anymore tickets ;) Anywho, I'm getting back to my art and am gonna give Freehand another college try.

Of gaming and tournaments....

Well there's a few things going on today. For starters there's a Soul Calibur tourney going on tonight at the cafe....in theory anyway. I'm already the King of Iron Fist, why not add one more accolade to my hat. The in theory part pertains to the fact that this tourney was supposed to be last weekend, but there wasn't enough people for it at that point, so it's supposed to be tonight. I'll hold my breath and see if it happens. I'm kinda excited. I don't get to play too many people really. I whip the computers ass on a regular basis. It's a sad state of affairs when you set the computer to Ultra Hard and last stage difficulty and walk through it without so much as a heavy breath. Human opponents are so much more fun. They get huffy when you do things to them. They cry No Fair and That's Cheap. But you know what....I don't really care. If i win, i'll do it by doing whatever I need to. My fighting style seems to elude people though. Everybody tries to set up for the big 20 hit combo or the crushing air juggles or what have you. I simply do what works for the situation. That's not to say that I don't know the big combos, but that I prefer not to use them because they leave you predictable and weak when they miss. Oh well enough Art of War stuff, now onto the really interesting part.

I'm writing yet another RPG. This one is a fantasy setting based on a world I created for AD&D god knows how many years ago. I've gotten into writing RPG's because I've played so many of them. There's so many things that piss me off about other RPG systems that I've taken it upon myself to make my own from time to time. This latest system is based on the Spy Hunter system I mentioned in my other blog sometime last year. It's been expanded and revised to not only keep it diceless, but to make up for the elemnts in other RPG's that I consider "shortcomings" My biggest bitch about other systems is that too much time is spent during character creation. Palladium, which make some incredible RPG settings, is my biggest area of problem. It takes no less than 4 hours to make a character, most of that time is spent sifting through reams of pages on skills and percentages and all that stuff. Then at the end of all of that you have this Moger list of skills, most of which fall along the lines of Underwater Basket Weaving and you'll never use again. And you still don't have a character that you feel is yours. I call this JAFS, or "Just an Average Fighter Syndrome" The system I created uses broad general categories of skills, of which the player selects what he wants the skill to be. even further as the character progresses in levels he can choose where the bonuses go, so the character trains how the player wants them to.

The other incredible pain in the ass belongs to the AD&D system. They have their own skill problems, but where they really lack is the Magic system. Mages are created to die in AD&D. pure and simple. They begin the game with up to 4 hit points. they can't wear armor or carry weapons other than staves or dagger. Then they get two bullshit spells. They have the average life expectancy of a Human Marine in StarCraft. Then when you do get spells, all of them seem to fall under about 6 general categories, the only diffeence being they do more damage, or affect a different element. So i revised the system, simplified it, put it more into the players hands where their magic went. I broke magic down into 7 categories again and allow the layer to select what they do. so they can have a large selection of what they can cast. They can also carry armor and weapons that their Strength will allow them to, so the mage can, if they're out of magic, swing a sword, and wear chainmail. it's all up to the player how their character goes. I like it so far and I'm fairly open for playtesting if anybody is interested. It's quite a diverse system that I think could really take off in the PBEM games as well as a sit down scenario. Lemme know if anybody is interested. It's currently in word format, but I'm thinking of converting it to PDF so everybody has the ability to play.

On the Bright Side...

I've somehow, through some minor glitch in the Blogger software, managed to access my old blog from the address that I used to publish it to, so pre-March 12th I have somehow managed to back up. As, what i haope, is a bonus, I will be reposting some of the more interesting posts as a kind of "Best of" section probably on Friday nights or really whenever I feel like it. There's been some stuff that I got an incredible reader feedback on. I feel it just wouldn't be right to completely disregard these little jewels of wisdom and hilarity. SO I guess just keep an eye out for them.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name...

You just want to belong somewhere. Where there's no hassles, no headaches, no whining. Where you can just hang out and do what you want to do. The internet in theory is supposed to be one of those places. Where you can log in anonymously and do what you feel like with minimal repercussions, as long as you follow the law. I feel like my privacy has been violated...yet again. Can I have nothing for myself? Must I defend myself...run and hide because somebody else can't leave well enough alone. I live and let live on so many levels and through so much of my everyday life that I often wonder why that can't transfer here. For someone who said that all I had to do was tell her to go away, and she would, no questions asked, someone sure has a bad habit of doing things to try and harm me. I don't think it's humorous, intelligent, or even evil. It's damn vindictive. I've left you alone pretty damn well for a long time now and then I find that crap not only in my Blogger, but the stuff I've quoted below in yours? I'm tired of being hurt by juvenile things. I'm tired of wearing my heart on my sleeve. I've got enough stress in my life with a child on the way, my boss, someone whom I look up to and consider a close friend, dying probably within the next two years, reduced income from lack of work, because said boss is sick with COLON CANCER you insensitive bastard. You had to pick now to play your childish games. You had to pick the one time where I'm feeling weak to strike. That is ok though. For now I know what I'm dealing with, and you have nothing left to hurt me with. All of the cards are on the table and your time is come. I'll sign on when and where i feel like it. I don't avoid signing onto MSN because I'm scared of running into you. I don't sign onto MSN to avoid the bullshit. If I don't want to be found, I won't be. If i don't want to be talked to, I won't hear you. And if I want to strike, and lower myself, then I will do so with impunity. But I don't, and I won't....I won't be pushed so you can take your words and your problems and bother someone else with them. I tried to take the quiet way out and didn't resort to anything brash until now, even though I've been reading things the whole time. So consider your next move carefully, for I may not hold back next time.

You'd be suprised at what a woman will do....

You know someone for a few years and you think that you know them. Women are a very fickle creature, and the addage "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" will forever hold true. But you'd think that just because things didn't work out in whatever capacity that they'd try to be, um, a little mature. I'll present below some excepts from her Blog, just to show how juvenile one person can be.

:: Thursday, June 12, 2003 ::

giggles, geeeeee i didn;t do it...LOL
:: Spike_y 8:53 PM [+] ::
...
giggles, it has conveniently disappeared... hmmmm
:: darkest 3:42 PM [+] ::
...
:: Wednesday, June 11, 2003 ::
whats the web-site to miker blogsite again?!?!?!
:: Spike_y 8:11 PM [+] ::
...
:: Saturday, June 07, 2003 ::
LOL. HE is a sissy, he's afraid to even show his face on msn messenger, and now a new blog spot? Whata whimp! GOsh, i'm getting REAL annoyed by getting Joey's information, well, i got EVERYTHING right, all but the ISP thingie!! I can't get it!!! lol...gotta go call him, hee hee
:: Spike_y 5:59 PM [+] ::
...
:: Friday, June 06, 2003 ::
psssttt... mikers has a new blogger that he's been hiding from us on... hee hee... i can't believe he is such a sissy
:: darkest 10:39 AM [+] ::
...

I haven't talked with these people since about March or so. It's this kind of mentality that keeps reminding me over and over again that there is no real reason for me to share my life online. Now do you see the crap I deal with and why I don't come online much anymore. We'll not even speak of the comment that left me with this new blog, but I think that I'll be a much happier person if I can stay unaccosted for a while. I thought I was rid of the hassle, but some people just can't resist falling to the level of a twelve year old. If I've pissed anybody off in the past, so be it, but the past is the god damned past, and though i may not have the words, actions or emotions to give you what you want to hear or get from me, live happily ever after knowing that I was in everybody's lives for a short period of time.

There's a few other things that must be said about this new Blog. First and foremost there are a few reasons why My other Blog is gone. First and foremost, Blogger lost it for whatever reason when they went to the new system. No biggie to me really. I mean Adventures in Chronic Delirium was old, and it wasn't evolving the way I wanted it to, so it kinda came as a refreshing change. Secondly it seems that I was developing something of a, how do you say it, unsavory comment base. In my current dark moods I really didn't need to look at it, especially ones like I got a few days ago. So in light of that, this new Blog was born. I'll be completely honest with everybody who reads this thing. I'm tired, I'm stretched incredibly thin, and I don't particularly need any added hassle. Not only is someone I consider an incredibly close friend, and someone I look up to, dying, and doing so immediately, but there are many more things going on in my life without psychotic rants and flaming in my comments section. There's a reason why this is no longer a public Blog, and as soon as I get my own server space up and running it's going to be far less public. I do this to share my feelings with everybody out there, something that doesn't come easy to me to begin with. It's a place I cherish that I may either inform, enlighten, stir up emotions, or just simply entertain for a few brief moments. I don't need personal grudges or reminders of my past coming up in here. If you're here to try and humiliate me, then please by all means, just leave. Those I may have hurt or pissed off in the past, leave it there. I have far too much going on in my present to worry about things from my past.

Doctor's have it easy on so many counts. Besides the obvious benefits of an incredible pay scale, they have the simple luxury of being able to present bad news to people with a straight face. My boss Stacy, whom I've been mentioning the last few weeks, was diagnosed with Colon Cancer a few weeks ago. They removed about 6 inches of his colon and thought that they'd gotten all of it. They removed numerous lymph nodes to check and found that half of them were cancerous They were still optimistic at that point. Deciding to start chemo five days a month for six months to make sure they got it all. They did a few tests the other day and found it in his liver as well. They told him yesterday afternoon that he had 2-5 years to live. to make things even worse they told him yesterday afternoon that he only had a 50% chance to live 2 years, a 30% chance to live for 5 and even after that there was only a 8% chance that he'd go into remission. That's pretty crushing news to give to someone with a straight face. Stacy and I have become incredibly close over the last 3 years. We've basically been together 8+ hours a day since i started working there. This all is hitting me pretty hard. Those who know me know that i'll put on a good front and laugh through everything, but i just can't do that. Stacy is someone i've grown to look up to. He's an incredible person who hasn't been cut a break since day one. He's done everything right, no smoking, drinking or drugs. He eats healthy and gets as much excercise as his back will let him. To have a bombshell like this drop is simply unimagineable to me. There are some cruel gods out there. So in closing, I wish I could just look at things like a doctor and not have to go home and feel like screaming at the universe at large over how unfair it all is.