Weirdness..

I was thumbing through a few files i have backed up on cd from god knows how long ago, and I got a little melancholy. I dunno, but it's just kind of a longing for the way things used to be. Granted I haven't had an uber exciting life, but there's things i've been looking through that I realise that I miss a lot. We started talking about stuff in an online group I'm in, and the conversation swung towards the old Vampire: Redemption community, since a couple of the other members of the group were in teh clan I keep ranting and raving about through all of my psycho babblings on this thing. Some of the screenshots I've taken and some of the memories that were dredged up teh other night got me to thinking about everything else that I miss that's just gone by me. I live life pretty happy-go-lucky, and I guess this leaves me to take things for granted, that they're always gonna be there. And they're not, not like they used to be.

I think back on when I started this strange Internet trip that I've partaken in, of my own accord since probably around '96, though I'd been online over at chad's a while before that...closer to about 93 there. And I think back on when I was first learning HTML, and the excitement and awe I had over creating my own web page and sharing myself with the rest of the world. I put up the Poetry Corner, which to this point, has seen several incarnations. Then followed the Domain, which had all of my poetry on it, along with a few other things. The site was frankly ginormous. I think it weighed in at a grand total of about 84 separate pages on it. back in the infancy of my web designing, that was incredibly exciting. I could go on for hours about my web pages, frankly because there've been too many to count. But I think the first time I truly had FUN on the internet was when i started Vampire. This is probably why I keep ranting about it through all these months. It was the first time that I'd actually enjoyed my self, not only online, but in a game as well. I met some incredible people, formed some incredible bonds. Several, if not most, of these had deteriorated considerably in the meantime. And I think that's where the melancholy comes from. Much when I realised that the arcade was dead, I missed the experiences I had with those people, for good or bad. It seems like we get on now in a more-or-less friendly manner now, but not like it used to be.

So, I guess the moral of this story is to keep your friends and loved ones close, and your enemies closer, but keep all of them where you want them, because they can disappear just like that.