strange vibes

I've been caught in something of a strange mood all day for some reason. I've been thinking back on a lot of stuff for odd reasons and I've realised that i've done a lot of bad things to a lot of people over the years. Yes, we all do bad things at one time or another, but there's people out there that had done nothing wrong short of loving me in one form or another that I've ultimately done wrong in some way. Again I know that we hurt the ones we love and all that but I really can't help but feel bad about them. Why this presses on me now I'll never know but if I've done something to you in the past then I apologize. There are just some things that I can't explain so that others will understand and I really can't help the way that my heart and mind travel.

At times I've been called a prick, at others I've most likely been called far worse. I am all of these things. I'm sure that we all have skeletons in our collective closets; some worse than others. But the point is that everything weighs on you whether you believe it does or not, or whether you meant to do something or not. The choices you didn't make, the selfish choices that you did make. All of them leave some sort of mark on you. Some of these people ultimately learn from and correct so as not to hurt somebody else like that again. Some people shut others out so entirely that no one can understand what goes on behind those eyes. And this will be some people's downfall. I'm just as guilty as anybody else. I don't like people to read me because I don't like lending out more of myself than I really have to. Some people just make me open up just by being there. Strangely enough most of these people live in other states.

I couldn't really tell you why any of this weighs on me now like it does but perhaps I can feel a little better about things knowing that this is out here and that if you are in a similar situation then know that you're not alone and that some things you can't make amends for. All you can do is move on with your life and hope that things work out for the best for everybody else involved. I have a strong belief in Karma. This is not why I say all of this now, however if you feel like your life is turning to shit and you don't know why...apologize to someone you've wronged. It may not change your life, but you'll at least feel a little better about yourself.