Resistance is Futile...Give me your Cheese Fries
11.29.2004
Just a quick question...
Why is my bag of disposable razors resealable? I didn't know that freshness was an attribute they graded razors on now.
Anyway back to the weekly drudgery
that is all
Anyway back to the weekly drudgery
that is all
11.27.2004
Half-Life 2 Pwnz my S0uL
I picked up Half-Life 2 SIlver from Steam friday. I did this mainly for a few reasons. 1) i couldn't play HL online because it was always bitching about how it wasn't up to date and teh HL2 Silver came with HL: Source and Counterstrike:Source. so I'm up to dat eon my half life goodness. Now back to the title of this little entry. The game is friggin incredible. I knew it was gonna be something special to look at, but i had no idea it was gonna be this detailed with a fairly deep story for a FPS. That and I've kinda loved Gordon Freeman since the original. He seems like such the unlikely hero. and it was kinda nice to see my HEV after so many years. and damn did it look smooth :) For you FPS lovers out there I highly recommend it. and now if i can just get a hold of clayson...
11.17.2004
Well that was anti-climactic...
I'm sure you guys have noticed that I haven't posted anything on my non-smoking diaries...but you know what...it's not s interesting as I thought it would be. Yeah the first 3 or so days were a little rough, but after that it's been a non-issue. No critical craving, no homicidal mood swings, no nothing. It wasn't the Descent Into Madness(TM) that I thought/heard it was going to be. Oh well here's the short form anyway. I've not been smoking for the last 8 days, nor do I feel the inclination to have a cigarette. almost a bummer...
On an interesting sidenote I have seen horrors that no human mind should ever bear witness to. I think I am officially sterile and lo be thankful that you are only getting the words and not the live-action picture that I got. I got the meet "Kelly" today. As many of you don't know, i've been doing the maintenance on the Catholic Charities Maine building which essentially translates to an out-patient mental ward. It was here that I got to meet "Kelly" and boy was that a shock to the system at 8am/7am Central. Check Local Listings. "Kelly" was of the "Weirdo Transvestite" category. Not really what I would call "Executive Transvestite" by any stretch of the imagination. There was no doubting "Kelly" was a man. In fact I think "Kelly" really needed a girls night out to help with the makeup and the fugliness, erm I mean manishness, erm I'll just shut up now.
Now I have no problems with Tranvestites, Gay people any of those groups. But I was not prepared for "Kelly" I mean we've maintained this building before. "Kelly" isn't new...someone could have given me a heads up. I mean When you hear a guy ask if you want some coffee while you're waiting for Teresa and you look up and there's a 6 foot 3 inch man in heels, a nice blouse, socks or something oddly lumpy stuck in a bra, a pretty slapdash job with some makeup and a wig on it kinda makes you shiver for a second...and not in a good way. Anywho I'm off to bed. more updates as they become interesting...
On an interesting sidenote I have seen horrors that no human mind should ever bear witness to. I think I am officially sterile and lo be thankful that you are only getting the words and not the live-action picture that I got. I got the meet "Kelly" today. As many of you don't know, i've been doing the maintenance on the Catholic Charities Maine building which essentially translates to an out-patient mental ward. It was here that I got to meet "Kelly" and boy was that a shock to the system at 8am/7am Central. Check Local Listings. "Kelly" was of the "Weirdo Transvestite" category. Not really what I would call "Executive Transvestite" by any stretch of the imagination. There was no doubting "Kelly" was a man. In fact I think "Kelly" really needed a girls night out to help with the makeup and the fugliness, erm I mean manishness, erm I'll just shut up now.
Now I have no problems with Tranvestites, Gay people any of those groups. But I was not prepared for "Kelly" I mean we've maintained this building before. "Kelly" isn't new...someone could have given me a heads up. I mean When you hear a guy ask if you want some coffee while you're waiting for Teresa and you look up and there's a 6 foot 3 inch man in heels, a nice blouse, socks or something oddly lumpy stuck in a bra, a pretty slapdash job with some makeup and a wig on it kinda makes you shiver for a second...and not in a good way. Anywho I'm off to bed. more updates as they become interesting...
11.13.2004
Nic-Free Diaries Day 3 & 4 Morning...
"And Someone was giving boose to these god damn reptiles"
Yesterday was the stress test. Had a virtual nobody in management decide to give me shit for his mistake...He almost died. and I don't mean metaphorically. I was ready to reach my hands around his throat and choke him until he expired. My body realised we were running on empty yesterday. body no likee. Kinda had a medecine body feeling. Dunno if that was connected to the lack of nicotine or not, but you know that feeling when you take a few actifed and you feel kinda detached...yeah that feeling. This morning hasn't been bad, but I felt like i needed to report for yesterday and might as well throw this morning in as well. We got SNOW bitches... :) just a dusting but a little :)
Yesterday was the stress test. Had a virtual nobody in management decide to give me shit for his mistake...He almost died. and I don't mean metaphorically. I was ready to reach my hands around his throat and choke him until he expired. My body realised we were running on empty yesterday. body no likee. Kinda had a medecine body feeling. Dunno if that was connected to the lack of nicotine or not, but you know that feeling when you take a few actifed and you feel kinda detached...yeah that feeling. This morning hasn't been bad, but I felt like i needed to report for yesterday and might as well throw this morning in as well. We got SNOW bitches... :) just a dusting but a little :)
11.11.2004
The Nic-Free Diaries - Day Two
"The vibes had turned ugly. But Why? Was there no communication in this car?"
Today wasn't as bad as I had expected it to be. I craved a cigarette far less than I would have expected...though communication was not my strong point today. I probably said less than four or five words in a row to a person at any one time. Even when I did speak I couldn't vocalise thoughts and ideas as normal so it was kind of embarassing. I think the most aggravating part of today is that all the smokers and reformed smokers alike have some sort of war story to tell you from when they tred to quit. I've come to the realisation that the only thing more self-righteous than a born again christian is a born again non-smoker.
Today wasn't as bad as I had expected it to be. I craved a cigarette far less than I would have expected...though communication was not my strong point today. I probably said less than four or five words in a row to a person at any one time. Even when I did speak I couldn't vocalise thoughts and ideas as normal so it was kind of embarassing. I think the most aggravating part of today is that all the smokers and reformed smokers alike have some sort of war story to tell you from when they tred to quit. I've come to the realisation that the only thing more self-righteous than a born again christian is a born again non-smoker.
11.10.2004
Fear and Loathing in Southern Maine...
Statement: I have decided to quit smoking. And for the next 2 weeks at the least, everybody will know about it. For I am using this blog, amongst other things, to chronicle the decent into insanity that I'm sure will ensue. Why do I do this? Do I do this because hate you? NO...well at least 49% of you I don't. I do this maybe to keep me honest. Since I know that most of the people around that read that will and can call bullshit to the stuff I'm typing. And I'll title the progression in the only way that would fit this most "Gonzo" of stories...In Hunter S. Thompson quotes. SO without further ado:
The Nic-Free Diaries - Day One: "So oppressive; This feeling of Fear and Loathing"
I almost strangled someone today. The first day has to be the worst. None of those junkie signs like the shakes or dry mouth or anything...just an insufferable need to smoke a cigarette. The body hasn't yet figured out that it's not getting anymore. No doubt the revolt is sure to come. To be honest it's almost a mental breakdown and rebuild. Nerves and reflexes that are normally sharp seem shakey ad a bit slow. I slammed my hands in so many doors and other objects today it just made me even angrier. Though note for anybody else who feels the need to quit smoking...never use Peppermint Altoids as a substitute on your first day. I went through a tin of them while fighting the urge to pull over at the store and buy a pack of cigarettes. If you eat that many altoids you will get acid reflux, the likes of which you have never seen nor could possibly imagine. I have downed 4 Tums E-X and I can still feel it rumbling around down there. Hopefully day two and beyond will prove a little easier...
The Nic-Free Diaries - Day One: "So oppressive; This feeling of Fear and Loathing"
I almost strangled someone today. The first day has to be the worst. None of those junkie signs like the shakes or dry mouth or anything...just an insufferable need to smoke a cigarette. The body hasn't yet figured out that it's not getting anymore. No doubt the revolt is sure to come. To be honest it's almost a mental breakdown and rebuild. Nerves and reflexes that are normally sharp seem shakey ad a bit slow. I slammed my hands in so many doors and other objects today it just made me even angrier. Though note for anybody else who feels the need to quit smoking...never use Peppermint Altoids as a substitute on your first day. I went through a tin of them while fighting the urge to pull over at the store and buy a pack of cigarettes. If you eat that many altoids you will get acid reflux, the likes of which you have never seen nor could possibly imagine. I have downed 4 Tums E-X and I can still feel it rumbling around down there. Hopefully day two and beyond will prove a little easier...
11.09.2004
I Pwn...
Which OS are You?
But on a more serious note I think I'm done mourning the lost election. I mean there's only so long I can bitch...wait...no there isn't. I've got more in me i'm sure. But I've decided to do a little blame shifting. I can't necessarily blame bush, or the republicans, or the conservative democrats. I'm full out blaming the american people...or at least 51% of them. Yes Bush pulls some of the most screwball antics the world has ever seen for is and his cohorts personal gain. But how did he get there? What act of god put him in power? Wasn't himself...it was the american people. So when things go helter skelter I'm not writing my congressman...I'm writing you...those who voted for the man-chimp...and I can be very angry...
11.08.2004
You all may fear me now...
|
You Are a Snarky Blogger! |
 You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of. And that's why they read your posts as often as they can! |
|
You Know You're From Portland, ME When... |
|
You're at Dunkin Donuts, drunk, at midnight on friday and saturday nights You attend EVERY porltand-deering sporting event...regardless of what it is. You know that there is a football game on Thanksgiving morning between the two rival schools. It takes at least 12 inches of snow for school to be cancelled. You drink in parking lots all winter long You know what Bill's Pizza is You think that Univ. of Maine - Orono is another 4 years of high school. You know what the Old Port is You understand the theory behind Dimillo's floating restaurant. You've skipped school or work to start drinking early Vacation means a trip to Montreal You know what an Italian Sandwich is You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Portland, ME. |
11.03.2004
10.30.2004
I'll see your Kerry Clayson and raise you a...
Which Presidential Candidate Are You?
Rung from Rum and Monkey's very own liberty bell.
El Presidente '04 I don't need a fucking running mate...i'm that good...
Top that one...
My Pimp Name is Master Brotherman.
Take Pimp Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.
Where were you when...
What were you doing last week about midnight? What were you doing when the unthinkabnle happened and the Red Sox won the world series? The Sox are finally world champs and the curse is no more. IF nothing else happens this year you can say that you were here for a truly historic event. Red Sox fans, collectively known as the Red Sox Nation, for their lifelong devotion to seeing them finally win it, everywhere rejoiced, broke stuff, and generall y had a good time of it. How many people watched teh last out of the last inning and the little toss to first base and had flashbacks to '86 with Bill Buckner letting the ball dribble between his legs to lose it for them? I know I did. I've always loved the sox, and the other new england underdog teams that everybody seems to write off each year, yet for some reason have started to dominate in teh last few seasons. I would have to say that it's good to be back in new england. nowhere else in this country will you find such a large, and rabidly devoted group of sports fans. We love our teams and hope they do well each season. Congrats guys on finally breaking the curse....now I can die in peace...
10.21.2004
Why the hell not...everybody else is...
1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Michael Ellison Vance
2. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? khaki shorts
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Audioslave "show me how to live"
4. WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Turkey Sandwich...mmm, turkey
5. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? not in years
6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Brown
7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Overcast and about 45
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My dad
9. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? Clayson...yeah i guess he's aight ;)
10. HOW OLD ARE YOU TODAY? 27
11. FAVORITE DRINK? normal: Vanilla Coke. Alcoholic: Four Horsemen
12. FAVORITE SPORT? Hockey
13. HAIR COLOR? Strawberry Blonde...or blonde depending on how much I've been out in the sun.
14. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope
15. SIBLINGS? 1 brother
16. FAVORITE MONTH? March, my birthday. yay presents.
17. FAVORITE FOOD? Buffalo Wings
18. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Farenheight 9/11
19. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? XMAS@ Any day of the week starting with "S"
20. WHAT DO YOU DO TO VENT ANGER? I don't, I internalise everything so I'm a ball of boundless rage.
21. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? my nintendo
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Lucky Charms.
23. HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses...final answer
24. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate
25. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE/ I-MAIL BACK? considering I'm probably the last one to respond...i think i'll let em slide on this one ;)
26. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? no one...they'll all already done it
27. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? see above
28. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? baby x1, grandmother x1, wife x1, house x1
29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? can't remember
30. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? puzzles...lots of em
31. WHO IS THE FRIEND YOU HAVE HAD THE LONGEST? Have to be Chad
32. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Played Diablo 2
33. FAVORITE SMELL? Village Candle's Summer Slices
34. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? Pressure....i'm a "Combat Medic" type personality
35. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? not being funny.
36. PLAIN, BUTTERED OR SALTED POPCORN? butter. enough so that my arteries harden while i'm still watching the movie
37. FAVORITE CAR? I dig the hell out of the Tiburons.
38. FAVORITE FLOWER? day lilly
39. NUMBER OF KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? 5...and only 1 of them goes to my house
40. CAN YOU JUGGLE? my bills? certainly
41. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? any day beginning with "S"
42. WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? I don't remember
43. HOW MANY STATES HAVE YOU LIVED IN? 2
44. HOW MANY CITIES HAVE YOU LIVED IN? 2
45. HOW MANY COUNTRIES HAVE YOU LIVED IN? 1
46. HOW MANY CARS HAVE YOU HAD & WHAT WAS THE FIRST? 6, the first was an 85 chevy citation
47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Portland, ME
48. HOW MANY TIMES WERE YOU MARRIED? 1
49. HOW MANY OFFSPRING? One
50. HOW MANY DIVORCES? 0
51. WHAT IS YOUR 1ST CHOICE...MONEY, HEALTH, POWER? Power most assuredly. and then, THE WORLD WILL BE MINE!!!
2. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? khaki shorts
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Audioslave "show me how to live"
4. WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Turkey Sandwich...mmm, turkey
5. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? not in years
6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Brown
7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Overcast and about 45
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My dad
9. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? Clayson...yeah i guess he's aight ;)
10. HOW OLD ARE YOU TODAY? 27
11. FAVORITE DRINK? normal: Vanilla Coke. Alcoholic: Four Horsemen
12. FAVORITE SPORT? Hockey
13. HAIR COLOR? Strawberry Blonde...or blonde depending on how much I've been out in the sun.
14. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope
15. SIBLINGS? 1 brother
16. FAVORITE MONTH? March, my birthday. yay presents.
17. FAVORITE FOOD? Buffalo Wings
18. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Farenheight 9/11
19. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? XMAS@ Any day of the week starting with "S"
20. WHAT DO YOU DO TO VENT ANGER? I don't, I internalise everything so I'm a ball of boundless rage.
21. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? my nintendo
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Lucky Charms.
23. HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses...final answer
24. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate
25. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE/ I-MAIL BACK? considering I'm probably the last one to respond...i think i'll let em slide on this one ;)
26. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? no one...they'll all already done it
27. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? see above
28. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? baby x1, grandmother x1, wife x1, house x1
29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? can't remember
30. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? puzzles...lots of em
31. WHO IS THE FRIEND YOU HAVE HAD THE LONGEST? Have to be Chad
32. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Played Diablo 2
33. FAVORITE SMELL? Village Candle's Summer Slices
34. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? Pressure....i'm a "Combat Medic" type personality
35. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? not being funny.
36. PLAIN, BUTTERED OR SALTED POPCORN? butter. enough so that my arteries harden while i'm still watching the movie
37. FAVORITE CAR? I dig the hell out of the Tiburons.
38. FAVORITE FLOWER? day lilly
39. NUMBER OF KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? 5...and only 1 of them goes to my house
40. CAN YOU JUGGLE? my bills? certainly
41. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? any day beginning with "S"
42. WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? I don't remember
43. HOW MANY STATES HAVE YOU LIVED IN? 2
44. HOW MANY CITIES HAVE YOU LIVED IN? 2
45. HOW MANY COUNTRIES HAVE YOU LIVED IN? 1
46. HOW MANY CARS HAVE YOU HAD & WHAT WAS THE FIRST? 6, the first was an 85 chevy citation
47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Portland, ME
48. HOW MANY TIMES WERE YOU MARRIED? 1
49. HOW MANY OFFSPRING? One
50. HOW MANY DIVORCES? 0
51. WHAT IS YOUR 1ST CHOICE...MONEY, HEALTH, POWER? Power most assuredly. and then, THE WORLD WILL BE MINE!!!
10.15.2004
I Think You get the Idea...
This is just a quick and simple graphic I did for Yvonne's aptly named "Vote or Die" campaign she seems to be advertising in Clayson's LJ...btw feel free to link to the URL i uploaded this to if you want to add this to your site. it's not my bandwidth :)
10.14.2004
10.12.2004
Goodbye to the Man of Steel
Goodbye to the Man of Steel
I've been waiting to see the general consensus on this tragedy and it seems to be an overwhelming ratio. Everyone will miss Christopher Reeve. He did not want to be known as Superman but that was the role that inspired thousands of people, even gnereations later he still makes people believe that a man can fly. What it was that brought Superman to our lives was his personability and charity. He may be known as the Man of Steel but it was his support of the arts and later medical research for victims of paralysis that truly made him a hero.
How many people out there wrapped a blanket around your neck and pretended you could fly after seeing Superman? For how many of you after seeing him as Superman believe that there might actually be superheroes in the world? I know I did. He did so much with what he was given that it's truly astounding. DO the research and get back to me, you'll find there were causes for which weren't listed by the media short of the stem cell research that could have helped him so much. It truly is a tragedy and I hope everybody realises that we have just lost an actual superhero in this world. Godspeed Superman.